Jon Gruden- Gruden and the OAKLAND RRRRRRAAAAAIIIIIIIDDDDDEEEEERRRRRSSSS pick up their first win of the season at home in a 45-42 shootout with the Browns. Yes, you read that correctly, the Browns put up 42 points BUT that's neither here nor there. This marks Gruden's first win in nearly 10 years when he was in Tampa Bay. With the win Gruden ties Vince Lomabardi in career coaching wins with 96. I'll tell ya what man, I like the idea of this guy winning again. It just feels right.
Jeff Fisher- Jeff Fisher's 7-9 reputation has apparently followed him into the broadcasting booth as he called his first NFL game on Sunday in Jacksonville. He was recently hired by FOX Sports which is no surprise since FOX hands out more 4th, 5th, and 6th chances (kinda like what Jerry Jones does to Jason Garrett) to washed up former players/coaches that nobody wants to hear anymore. I mean Fisher was as mediocre as it can possibly get on the field so it makes you wonder what fucking genius over at FOX thought it would be a good idea to let him do color commentary. Praising field goals on 4th & 1, applauding Sam Darnold for throwing a pass 6 yards short of the first down marker on a 3rd & 15; this guy is a fucking joke but deep down inside I love every second of it.
Tiger Sucking At The Ryder Cup- 0-4. Yep Tiger threw up a major stinker at the Ryder Cup, yet again, as his all-time record slips to 13-21-3. Personally, I do not care about his record here or what he even does in the Ryder Cup in general but since the majority of golf fans will nitpick this latest United States embarrassment, I'll play along. Look, Tiger has been apart of 8 Ryder Cup teams but has only come out on top in one of them all the way back in 1999 when the U.S. basically needed the fucking second coming of Jesus to overcome a steep deficit in the singles and got exactly that at Brookline. Let's be real- Tiger looked exhausted. He's played 7 of 9 weeks and for anyone on Tour, that's A LOT of golf. Also, there is an answer for Tiger's continued Ryder Cup struggles. I mean what do you expect when you take away Superman's cape?
Steven Seagal- Seagal is back in a huge way. Remember his Bitcoiin 2 Gen that eventually fell through when people realized it was a knock-off. I mean, you had to be a complete ignoramus to not realize that this was one of the biggest Ponzi schemes in modern American history. But that was last year. To 2018- Seagal has recently announced "Steven Seagal's 365Flix". Basically he's schemed the idiots in this world again as it's basically Netflix but featuring Seagal and only Seagal in interviews and movie clips. Okay but that's not all. He has also expressed interest in becoming a Governor in a far east portion or Russia only 2 years after being granted citizenship by Putin. We all know the Russians don't give a fuck and play by their own rules but this is just bizarre. He has ZERO background in any political position never mind Russian politics. This guy has had more wives than he does years of citizenship in Russia. Maybe he should quit sticking his nose in places it shouldn't belong and keep making movies. Just a thought.
Lindsay Lohan- Lohan has been in the news lately but not because she will make a cameo in the sequel to Life-Size, but because of a recent incident with a Syrian family in Moscow. Lohan was reportedly in Moscow for some kind of fashion week bullshit when she saw a refugee family on the side of the road. She kept following the family around the streets claiming they were trafficking children. After some time, the mother clocked Lohan in the face for harassing her children. Okay hold the fuck up for a second. This is hilarious on so many levels. I would seriously pay a tenner to see some Arab dressed up in her bed sheets roundhouse Lindsay Lohan. This is prime-time television. PPV this kinda shit. Come on, who the fuck is she to follow this homeless refugee family around citing human trafficking. What the fuck happened to that cute, innocent little girl from The Parent Trap that everyone seemed to adore. This Arab mother gets all the credit in this situation for finally delivering Lohan what she deserves, that selfish junkie washed-up loser.
Take a note
-Doorman
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