There are many defining moments in a person’s life: learning to walk, getting a driver’s license, heading off to college, turning 21, and of course: your first (congrats). My most recent defining moment was realizing that I’m an adult with adult problems. Not like back pain, a neighbor who hates when the leaves from your tree fall into his yard, or being forced to wear the tie your five year old made out of a tube sock, macaroni, and glitter glue. I’m talking about real problems.
Let’s start with an abridged backstory. It’s the summer after junior year, so I got a real job and I’m living solo in the same place I do during the school year (cause it has strippers).
So this job right, it’s kind far – 45 min. So this means I gotta wake up before the rooster crows because apparently the corporate 9-5 grind is actually 8-5, because lunch doesn’t count. But I eat in 30 minutes, cause I’m tryna be in and out like food from an Indian restaurant that just failed inspection. I like the work and all, but I just wanna enjoy the summer. I’m used to maybe-kinda-half focusing for like three hours max each day, so grinding for almost three times as long is really taking a toll on my aging body. On top of climbing the corporate ladder, I’m taking summer classes so that I can be an even more lethal academic weapon than my peers. Just yesterday, I took a two and a half hour exam on windmills. That class blows. *insert sitcom laugh track* Anyway, the point is that there is always something to do.
So on top of all of this other crap, the sink in my place started acting up. This thing would not drain. So I grabbed my tools, ensured that my ass crack was completely exposed, and investigated. Turns out it was not a simple fix. The maintenance guys ended up coming back multiple days and had to use something called “Liquid Fire” (It’s like we’re talking about Indian food again, look how that worked out). So after almost a week of not having a kitchen sink, or a dishwasher, and being forced to eat take out or crappy microwave dinners, it appears to finally be fixed. But nothing is ever free. These wankers took my bucket. I’m pretty sure they just mistook it as their own, but I’m definitely getting my lawyers involved.
Being an adult isn’t all that bad though. I am finally making some decent money, which means I can start justifying all that I spend on Jeep parts and downtown. Plus, the weekend just hits different when you’re working all week.
- Weekend Warrior
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