It’s October, and everyone and their mother is losing their gosh darn mind over this big orange vegetable. Pumpkin spice is the lifeblood of females everywhere. While I am no female, trust me I just checked, I somehow got sucked into this strange seasonal cult following.
I was doing my regular grocery shopping last week, and grabbed some yogurt, as I always do. Except this time I saw a new flavor, pumpkin spice. I thought for a moment, and realized that I was at a major crossroads in my life. Whatever decision I was about to make was gonna be a big one. After great internal debate, I decided to get one, and only one. For science. Well last night I ate it. To my surprise, it was actually decent, although I’m not sure I would buy it again. It tasted like pumpkin pie blended with lots and lots of whipped cream. I guess I’m glad I finally know what all the hubbub is about but I do not support it in the least. Sure, pumpkin has a good flavor. I like pies, and bread, and cookies and all that, but it doesn’t need to be mixed in with everything and consequently take over all of fall. (Check out what Doorman had to say in his most recent article about fall.)
My conclusion, fall is all about the gram. It’s a whole season dedicated to being as fake as humanly possible just so that your “friends” think you’re cultured. And the primary culprit, the one that takes the cake for fueling the fire the most, pumpkin spice. I highly doubt that that many people love the same thing this much. It just doesn’t add up. I don’t care if that is the unpopular opinion, I’m here to be the voice of reason. Hopefully you all don’t fall victim to pumpkin spice season, stay safe out there.
- Weekend Warrior
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