In movies, the underdog always wins, the hero never dies, and the guy always gets the girl (And she’s always way hotter than he is). Because that shit sells tickets and puts asses in seats. Unfortunately these storylines have become all too common in american cinema and not common enough in the real world. That’s why the opposite has become so compelling. For example, the show Game of Thrones became such a hit because it was so unpredictable. Killing favorite characters, rewarding the villains for doing awful things, and keeping people on the edge of their seat not knowing what to expect. In the real world, we are drawn to the exact opposite. We live for stories with fairy tale endings. A recent golf tournament in Georgia comes to mind. To every March Cinderella and every guy who drank like a fish and still made it home, we root for you. Today I bring one of those stories.
Florida Tech is one of those schools that you could tell me it didn’t exist, and I’d only argue with you to raise the tension in the room. I’ve never heard anything about this school and for good reason. Their most notable alumni is Tim Wakefield. So as you can imagine, not a lot of athletic funding to go around. So the administration the campus crippling decision to cut their Division II Women’s Golf Team. The alleged reasoning behind this crippling act was to “better allocate the school’s resources to it other remaining 18 varsity teams.” Smoke screen if you ask me. More likely the AD went out to play a round with the lads, lost badly and swore off the game forever. Then in a booze fueled decision at the 19th hole, called up his foxy secretary and told her to cut the program to pay for his bar tab (and let’s be honest and fess up that it only covered half the tab, its women’s golf for god sake, how many athletic skirts can you buy?).
Despite this the team managed to hold of powerhouses like Lynn, Limestone, and Barry to advance into the national championship tournament. I would just like to note that I did not make those names up, I wish I were kidding. After steller play through the first two days, leading the tournament at 47 over par, our ladies found themselves in the sudden death final matches to whittle down the final 8 teams. After a first round victory over Findlay, a real grudge match I might add, our beloved panthers faced off against SW Oklahoma State. Through the tough conditions at the noted PGA National Golf Course, Florida Tech was able to claim a 3-2 victory to advance to the Championship match against Cal State San Marcos. The tough part was over as the Panthers would cruise to a 4-1 victory, and the programs first National Title.
Get a load of these fucking ladies. The biggest fucking dick swinging mic drop of all time. National Championship win to save your beloved program from the chopping block. I mean this is just one of those feel good stor… Wait, what?! The program is still getting cut? Dude COME ONNNNN. There is however, a silver lining. This cannot be topped as the greatest walk off of all time. Because its the one that means the most. If an MLB player hit a homer to win the world series, its cool and all but its his job. Same thing as office Joe firing a spreadsheet under the gun. Except Joe's wife isn't a model. In the case of this team, there was no glory, no bonus, no chance to even defend your title. But damn, I bet they wouldn't trade it for the world.
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