Welcome to the only interesting 7, more like 4, interesting games of the NBA season. It’s been a while since we’ve done some locks, but I guess that means we’re due. If y’all follow these picks, it’s gonna be a bad week to be Vegas.
Warriors @ Raptors Game 1
Warriors +1.5
I get it. Playing in Toronto for the franchise’s finals game is gonna the six absolutely jumping tonight. The crowd is gonna be bananas, the team is gonna be buzzing, and Drake is gonna be an insufferable, narcissistic, crazy person. Vegas seems to think that matters enough for the Warriors to actually lose to Kawhi Leonard… and literally nobody else. The Raptors look like an AAU team compared to the Warriors on paper, because they are. Lowry is gonna have a line of like 15-2-6. Siakam is the coolest player in the series, but he looks about as coordinated as a dyslexic elephant trying to hump a telephone booth. Gasol is an ugly bastard who got tired of banging bodies in the post, so he developed a crusty jump shot. Last time he saw the inside of a vagina, Tiger hadn’t even started cheating on his wife. The point being, the warriors are gonna wipe the floor with Canadian tears, and the fans are gonna be too polite to complain, sorrey! Canada would trade the send the Raptors to Wyoming if it meant that one of their NHL teams could sniff a cup final. So I just don’t understand how Toronto is favored in this game. Unless the Warriors try to run their offence through Quinn Cook, this pick is free money.
Draymond Green Points
Over 7.5
When KD doesn’t play, Draymond is a different player. With Kawhi probably guarding Steph and/or Klay. Draymond plays a bigger role in the actual scoring part of this high powered offense. Plus he’s scored 8 or more in his last 10, and 12 or more in his last 4. Plus my sources tell me that his girlfriend broke up with him. Horny play = Good play. Spend the cash you’re gonna make on this bet before the game even happens. I’m that sure.
Warriors @ Raptors Game 1
Under 213.5
The Warriors are 10-6 versus the over in the playoffs by a margin of +2.4 ppg. The Raptors on the other hand, are 6-12 and -9.9 ppg versus the Vegas number. Combined that comes out to -7.5 ppg. I know that that’s not really how that works, but it’s a big number. I don’t think the Raptors score 100, so the Warriors would have to win by at least 14 points in Toronto with Kawhi guarding their best offensive weapon. It just seems like a big number given the circumstances. Unless Steph or Klay drops 40+ the under is gonna hit. The over under is the thing that always gets me about Vegas though. No matter what happens in any part of the game, the total is always close. So if the first half is way off the pace one way or the other, bet the opposite in the second half. Maybe both bets hit and you get to take a vacation to the local Best Western for a night of pay-per-view this summer. A man can dream.
Bonus Lock
Raymond Davidson +700
The International pinball circuit is in full swing and it’s just been tough to bet against my man Ray lately. Currently the top ranked player in the world, Davidson is the back to back world champion and shows no signs of giving up his top spot. He looks like a guy who dropped out of school to pursue his dream of playing professional Call of Duty, but then kinda fizzled out and starting streaming Fortnite for 10 year olds. Which is exactly how I want the pinball player I bet on to look. Watch out for young Italian (I have no idea how old he is) Daniele Celestino Acciari to make a splash as well.
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