Hipster: (noun) a person who is unusually aware of and interested in new and unconventional patterns (as in jazz or fashion) (Merriam-Webster). Well there you have it. Hipster. You can spot ‘em from a mile away. Tight pants, witty and oftentimes offensive graphic tshirt, scarf, fake oversized glasses, an overpriced beverage in hand, and terrible facial hair styling. I’m talking about that old school, 1920’s curly mustache just above their extremely opinionated mouth.
It always amazes me how pristine each hipster mustache looks. All of them look to be perfectly gelled, moussed, and blow-dried so that the point on each end could double as a defense mechanism in the event that they feel offended. This boggles my mind though because these folks oftentimes can’t rub two pennies together let alone spend $200 on a haircut. I guess it’s all about priorities. Having a well-groomed mustache trumps living in a house that doesn’t still have packing tape and a UPS shipping label on the side. When I look at one of those mustaches, the first word that comes into my mind is pretentious. Like this fella thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread so he’s gonna walk around with his head held high, blasting some underground artist’s music from his headphones.
For some reason this seems to be the mustache that comes to mind for a lot of people, but I’m out to change that. All the rest of the facial hair set up is great, just lose those curls at the end.
Next week we bring back an oldie but a goodie, mutton chops.
- Weekend Warrior
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