Through multiple days of private meetings and conferences with the big time players in the industry. I have some news that could be little shocking. I ask that you understand that this decision was not made lightly, and it was made in the name of progress. Things I Did This Weekend to Deter Me From Success is being re-envisioned as Let’s Talk. The hard fact is that I’m washed up. I just don’t do enough degenerate shit to keep this going every week. Well that's not entirely true, I do, but it gets repetitive. So in the name of content I think you deserve better than the “I got drunk and didn’t do work” song and dance that I give you every Monday. Let’s Talk is gonna be a whatever the fuck I feel needs to be talked about. It could be about dub shit I did over the weekend, or it could be about mechanical pencils. I really don’t know. This week I’ll keep the rest of this short.
Let’s talk about Gluten. I never met anyone that can actually tell you what the hell Gluten is. So I figured I’d give it a shot. All of this information will be provided straight from the academic source Wikipedia. Always cite your source kids.
Gluten is a composite of storage proteins comprised of prolamins and glutelins. This accounts for the vast majority of the protein in wheat and grain products. So if you’re into the whole gains thing, gluten is why eating a piece of bread every once in a while isn’t a bad thing. Gluten intolerance affects less than one percent of population and 80% of those are so minute that they are not noticeable and undiagnosed. So basically 1 in 1000 people actually can’t eat gluten. So riddle me this, why is it that half of all white girls can’t eat gluten? I don’t pretend to understand the complexities, or simplicities, of the white millennial female mind, but I can’t help jumping to some conclusions. Just based on the math, almost everyone that claims they can’t eat gluten... can eat gluten. I’m not gonna make allegations about why someone would give up literally one of the hardest things to cut out of a diet, but I will say you need to stop. If a group of friends can’t catch a nice dinner because Becky can’t go to the local Olive Garden due to the breadsticks you’ve got a serious problem. So stop being a pain in the ass to your friends and eat some fucking bread. Your frat star boyfriend is still gonna lie about that dress not making you look fat. Pull it together blondie.
-Skipper
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