This past weekend some of the CBC boys went on a little road trip to Florida for some sports and more importantly some absolute havoc. I have taken it upon myself to write up a little summary of our experience, because goddamn it was a mess, a shitshow, and one of the greatest weekends of my college life. I'm sitting here starting this article on a Tuesday night and I'm still my body is still in a good deal of pain. We all made some very regrettable decisions that I in no way will ever regret. Friday afternoon, Doorman, Skipper, Weekend Warrior, and I headed out towards the land of way too hot girls and legitimate crackheads with nothing put some clothes and the desire to have an insane weekend. I'm not even kidding, I straight forgot boxers, socks, and a towel. It was the perfect road trip filled with too many piss breaks, chic-fil-a and stops to get pods. We arrived Florida to "ice-rink pizza" as Skipper put it and alcohol. Unfortunately, the host underestimated our ability to just massacre beer, but luckily this situation was quickly rectified by drinking the beer of literally everyone he knew in a 10 mile radius. We were like the nematodes from Spongebob, numbers were put up. After downing about two cases, we decided to head to a pregame where of course we put away more numbers. Jesus did I mention Florida girls are insane, we saw hotties and hunnies, and even a badonkadonk. I mean a real caboose. Insanity. We ended capping the night off at a bar with a nice outdoor patio. People were carried home. Things got dicey. What a start.
Next day we woke up ready to go, it was time for some sports. We attended the away stadium and watched our team put up some wild numbers. Hosts were overall pleasant except one jabroni in front of us who lost his damn mind. By the end of the game we were out cheering the home crowd, not a bad start to the day. Possibly the most insane part of our weekend was the tailgate after. It was your average tailgate except we were tailgating with a goddamn US CONGRESSWOMAN. Can't make this shit up. Saturday night was when it was time for the real debauchery. A giant club, all you can drink, things got spicy. I saw people boogie who i'd never seen boogie before. Even Skipper busted out the moves, picked himself up what I can only assume was the classiest of ladies. Personally, I made some moves but for the life of me could not draw you up a play-by-play. Things got weird. Things were off the rails. Ill talk about this night the rest of my life. Weekend Warrior, you were a true warrior out there. We chirped, we walked home, I got lost, it was perfect.
Sunday came at us fast, and the scaries came in faster. We did a great job of getting out of Florida at our intended time of 10. We were on the road by 12:30.
Sittin here now on a Tuesday night with a test tomorrow, I still have not recovered. We went, we saw, we conquered Florida. I will tell you the "Florida Man" is real and we met him and his wife more than once. Florida is truly something else.
Be safe out there, Florida fights back
-CBC BigCrotch
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